There’s Something Rotten in the Room of Margot

99% of everything associated with Margot is awesome. What’s the 1% that is less than awesome you ask? Let me give you a clue: it’s ridiculously, eye watering, off-putting-ly stinky.

I noticed a smell in Margot’s room today that just won’t go away. It’s her change area. The primary suspect is her wastebasket, which is the receptacle that has the honour of holding Margot’s less-than-fun “extras”. I’ve tried to use baking soda to keep the scent down to a minimum but I’m afraid it’s hopeless.  If anyone has any other ideas, I’m all ears. Otherwise a visit to Walmart to buy a new wastebasket is in order. I’m also eyeing her change pad, which has a suspicious air about it. Hmmm. Well, one thing at a time.

Margot is taking her stinky room in good stride – literally. She’s on the verge of walking! Jen and I think we caught her taking her first official step today. She even waited until I had my camera!

Margot’s Oscar Picks

Margot has decided to get in on the Academy Award festivities this year. Here are her picks for the five main categories (with some loose interpretation by me):

• Best Picture: The King’s Speech. Whether it’s giving a wartime address or learning to say “papa”, Margot understands that speaking clearly and with purpose can be a challenge for persons of any age. Her choice of Director Tom Hooper’s latest tour de force is a vote for all those people who never give up on their linguistic dreams.
• Best Supporting Actress: Hailee Steinfeld for True Grit. Some babies are cute. Some babies are quiet. Some babies like staying put. Margot thinks those babies are wimps. In her view, if you’re hungry the best way to get attention is to yell – nice and loud. If she sees a toy she likes, neither man nor beast can prevent her from sticking it in her mouth. Hailee’s tough and brassy performance in True Grit epitomizes this spirit exactly, which is why she deserves the Oscar nod.
• Best Actress: Annette Bening for The Kids are All Right. Notwithstanding her feisty exterior, Margot has a soft spot for moms. They bring food, they give you hugs and they tuck you in at night when you’re really tired. Margot thought Annette’s performance as a lesbian mother in the first five minutes was so believable that she was inspired to fall asleep for the remainder of the film.
• Best Supporting Actor: John Hawkes for Winter's Bone. She hasn’t seen the film. She doesn’t know who John Hawkes is. But according to Margot, sometimes you have to cast off the metaphorical soother and break free from the Hollywood "playpen" that has everyone liking the same films and actors and go with the underdog.
• Best Actor: Colin Firth for The King’s Speech. Not even Margot is immune to the Bridget Jones’s Diary star’s passionate portrayal of King George VI. Contrary to the masses, which seem keen to vest Colin with an Academy Award for his supposedly subtle yet sublime good looks, Margot likes Colin for the loving manner in which he played a loving father to his daughter and future Queen, Queen Elizabeth II. She especially liked his penguin story.

A Light Adventure

When you’re stuck inside most of the week the last thing you want to do on weekends is spend them at home.

To get myself out of the house today I set myself a modest goal: buy a lamp. We have a few rooms in the house that could use a bit more light and I thought I knew where to go to get a funky lamp at a decent price. Alas, this task proved a bit more challenging than I thought. In chronological order, here are the stores I visited today:

1. The Urban Barn
2. Zone
3. Phillip Van Leeuwen
4. EQ3
5. Blueprint
6. Living Lighting
7. Multiluminaire
8. Mobilia
9. Rona

Each store proved a bigger disappointment than the last. “Home! Home!”  Margot’s eyes implored. Shoulders slumped, and feeling mildly irritated as to having spent a lot of time achieving exactly nothing (a feeling similar to standing beside a bus stop for 45 minutes only to realize that the buses aren’t running that day), I slowly turned my car around and headed for my house in Gatineau.

Then – a glimmer of hope. In my peripheral vision I caught sight of a shop I had previously missed: Structube, a Canadian company known for modern yet affordable furniture. However, damn the stars, I was in the wrong lane! I looked over at Margot for advice. This time her eyes said, “Go for it you crazy dada”.

With a silent prayer, I made a hard illegal left turn and cut across two lanes in order to get into the parking lot and potential redemption.

As I let the car stutter and spurt to a stop, I bundled up my ward and pushed open the doors of the store. A gust of heated air hit me in the face and my vision temporarily blurred. As my eyesight returned I looked around and saw…

We’ll you’ll see. It’s supposed to arrive next Friday from Montreal.

The morale of the story: even the dullest days can make for a great adventure when you have an excitable author and a cute sidekick.

The Great Diaper Debate

No, this is not an advertisement for Huggies Diapers. However, I generally do buy this brand of disposable diapers for Margot. That’s right, I said “disposable” (queue lightning and ominous music).

Notwithstanding my general desire to do my part for the environment, Jen and I decided prior to Margot’s birth that to use disposable diapers would be, to paraphrase a famous movie, “A bridge too far”.  Our initial reaction was confirmed shortly after Margot’s birth when we found that we were already changing Margot’s diapers so often that to switch to cloth diapers (which hold less liquid) would result in us devoting an inordinate amount of time to changing her diapers. Things aren’t so bad now but we have decided to maintain the status quo.

The cloth versus disposable diaper debate is currently raging on the Internet. Take this website for example, or this one. I don’t have much to add other than to say that I try to make up for the environmental problems with disposables in other ways. For example, I avoid buying plastic bags, am against idling my car (which wastes gasoline) and I am pretty strict with myself on recycling. Oh yeah, and I fully support any research to encourage babies to come out of the womb already potty trained!

100% Living

One thing I love about Margot is that everything she does, she does with 100% of her whole being. She has no concept of half-measures.

When she’s happy she’s really happy.

When she’s playing she really wants to play.

And when she’s sleeping she burrows her little face into the mattress and is oblivious to everything around her.

Being around that much pure living is infectious. It makes me want to drink a tall glass of orange juice or read a book from cover to cover or even just have a deep sleep. Mmm enough blogging for today!

Neighbourhood Walks

A big part of my life with Margot is going for walks around the neighbourhood. Provided the weather is not too cold, I try and do this once a day. This usually involves me bundling up Miss Trouble in her blue snowsuit, wrapping her in a few blankets and then strapping her into her Mountain Equipment Co-op jogging stroller. It’s quite a process.

In the summer I use the same stroller to go for jogs with Margot along the banks of the Ottawa River. There are a few souls who jog all winter around here (extra-enthusiastic people who don’t want to admit that we live north of the 45th parallel) but I prefer to meander at a slower pace in the winter until Margot falls asleep. As you can see, that’s not too hard. 

My neighbourhood is pretty standard for this area: a mix of single family and semi-detached homes with a sprinkling of condos thrown in for good measure. It’s middle class through-and-through although there is some variation in the size and type of homes. Don’t worry I’m not fully ensconced in the suburbs! I actually live pretty close to downtown, which means our neighbourhood is a nice cross between a safe area for Margot and reasonably close to culture for Jen and I.

Interesting side note: today is the official midway point of my 122-day parental leave. Yes, yes, for those of you who are mathematically inclined I recognize that “122” is an even number so really day 61.5 is the midway point. Go play with your slide rule. 

Adults Only

I met up with some of my old colleagues today for an award ceremony to honour the best and the brightest at my workplace. Here’s the venue where the prize ceremony was held:

I was nominated for a prize for some work I did last year but the main reason I wanted to go was to have some non-baby-related conversation with other adults. In that I was only partially successful. While I received a warm welcome from many of my colleagues, the main topic of conversation was “what’s it like being a stay-at-home-dad?” That’s ok as, truth be told, I really enjoy talking about Margot and all the fun things I do with her.

Going to the award ceremony also gave me a chance to put on one of my snazzy suits. I must say, it’s really surreal to go from jeans and a white t-shirt (the stay-at-home-dad’s uniform of choice) to a suit and tie, and then back again, all in one day. It’s a stark reminder of just how much my life has changed in the last 60 days. What an adventure!

Oh yeah, in case you were wondering – I didn’t win the prize!

Book Smarts vs. Experience

There are hundreds, thousands, perhaps even tens of thousands of books about babies and/or young children. I should know because Jen usually has a couple on loan from the local library. Looking around the house today I found two books: Positive Discipline: the First Three Years and How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

Unlike Jen, I am not really drawn to reading books about babies. I tried to plough through a couple when Jen was pregnant but I found them quite dull. On the other hand, I enjoyed going to the pre-natal classes and listening to a teacher talk about what to expect. Since Margot’s birth I have preferred to ask my parents, parents-in-law or friends with children questions about how to deal with a particular situation or do a quick Google search. I also like relying on my instincts. However, I find that Jen’s knowledge complements what I know so it’s quite possible that I am free riding off what she has learned from a book. Given that Margot is pretty close to perfect (yes?) I’d say we’ve come up with a solid system.

Perhaps one day a baby book will change Margot’s life. Until then I think I will rely on a philosophy of time, moderation, and experience. Time: there is no substitute for spending time with Margot. If I spend time with her then I will influence her behaviour. Moderation: yes to balanced diet, exercise, sleep, play, etc. and no to bowls of salt for breakfast or endless days spent watching TV. Experience: when in doubt, ask around.

Ba ba ba

Margot is very close to speaking now and she babbles all the time. Usually it sounds like “ba ba ba” but a few times she’s said something that sounds closer to “da da” after I’ve entered the room (I swear that’s my objective opinion!). She often talks when she’s in the car or just after waking up. She also has great debates with herself in the mirror.

It’s really hard to believe that my cute little patate will be talking up a storm in a few months. The days may be long but the months are short!

Here’s a video of her playing in her room this morning:

Enjoying the Ordinary

Well we’re back to normal weather around here (minus ten degrees Celsius). That’s fine because it gave us the perfect excuse to rent a movie and stay home. The movie we rented is entitled Dinner for Schmucks. I don’t expect it will win an Oscar but it gave us a few good laughs so I think it was a good choice.

Jen used the time to practice knitting.

Overall it was a nice lazy day hanging out with Richard and Nathalie. Besides watching movies we mostly just sat around and talked. I really like these family visits as they make the ordinary seem extraordinary: “talking” becomes “conversation”; “lunch” becomes “a feast”; “cleaning dishes” becomes…”cleaning dishes”. Oh well, two out of three ‘isn’t bad! Seriously though, Nathalie and Richard love hanging out with Margot so much that it reminds me how special she is. I think Margot likes the attention as she was really babbling a lot the whole weekend. I think she is on the verge of talking. Stay tuned!

Nathalie and Richard have gone back to Toronto now. We’ll miss them!

Warm Wanderings

Normally the weather in mid-February in Ottawa/Gatineau is minus nine degrees Celsius. Today it was plus ten! My sister, Nathalie, brother-in-law, Richard, Jen, Margot and I took full advantage of the weird (but appreciated!) weather by exploring the Byward Market: Ottawa’s historical old town, which is full of restaurants and shops.

We also took Margot to her first ever restaurant (technically a pub) for lunch where she was very well behaved and sat patiently for a whole hour while we ate. By “sitting patiently” I mean fidgeting and trying to stick anything within arms reach into her mouth of course! Regardless, I rate the meal a big success!

Fan mail!

Well I received a fun surprise the other day. One of my blog readers mailed me a nice card with some questions after she recalled that I don’t get letters too often. As a thank you I’m going to answer her questions on today’s post. To keep her identity secret let’s just call her _ A-R-R-A. Hmmm no that’s too obvious. Let’s call her S _ _ _ _ instead.

Ok here we go.

Question one: “how are your leçons de français coming along?” Truth be told, my old French tutor quit after she found a new job! She’s apparently too good for minimum wage. Well la dee dah! Fortunately, I found a new tutor so I should be back on track next week. I’m not too bad already. Look for me on the next episode of Tout le monde en parle!

Question two: “is Margot walking yet?” Not really. However she is an expert at shuffling around using a table as support.

That’s it. Thank you again for the questions S _ _ _ _!

p.s my sister and brother-in-law are visiting town this weekend. Time to hit the town!

Night Skate

There was a lot of action around here today!  First off, I met a work colleague, Doug, at a west end coffee shop (I had cider of course) to chat about babies, work and the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Margot was there of course and was a perfect little miss if you must know.  I was going to make this get together the central focus of today’s post but…I forgot my camera at home! Grrrrrr.

Fortunately, I redeemed myself in the evening when Jen and I went for a night skate on the Rideau Canal. Skating on the canal is truly one of the joys of living in Ottawa. The canal goes on for miles and has little shops here and there where you can buy hot chocolate and beavertails (a local pastry). The canal is especially beautiful at night when you often only have the stars for company.

Movies for Parents and Babies

I finally made it to the cinema to see a movie with Margot. Based on my experience I’ve come up with this set up rules:

Rule 1: Bring at least three bottles of water to mix with formula – I brought two and Margot seemed a bit antsy.
Rule 2: Bring a couple of jars of food. Plan on 50% of the food in your baby’s mouth and 50% on your shirt or pants.
Rule 3: Wear bummy clothes (see rule 2).
Rule 4: Learn to like walking around the cinema.
Rule 5: Whenever an infant in the cinema cries and interrupts the film pretend it’s a special effect.
Rule 6: If possible, don’t bring too much stuff. You’ll just trip over everything anyways.
Rule 7: Pick a lousy movie to go see; the type of movie you’d rent at the video store when the movie you really want is already rented. I saw Just Go With It – Adam Sandler’s latest tour de force.
Rule 8: Only get popcorn if your idea of a valuable purchase is pouring food all over the floor (see rule 6).
Rule 9: Laugh at the experience when it’s all over!

I can't wait to do it again!

Nordik Valentine

Today might have been a grey miserable cloudy day easily forgotten among all the other grey miserable cloudy days that typically define a Canadian winter. However, Valentine’s Day gave me the perfect excuse to indulge a little bit and made this day perfectly enjoyable.

As a treat, this afternoon I took my wife Jen to Le Spa Nordik, which, as the name implies, is a Scandinavian-style resort of hut tubs, saunas and steam rooms. To really enjoy the spa you typically start with a “hot room” (the steam room or sauna), then immerse yourself in a cold pool, before settling into the outdoor hot tub where you can watch the surface of the tub literally cool in the air before your eyes. Some people skip the cold pool as they find that taking a dip in 9 degrees Celsius (49 degrees Fahrenheit) water in the middle of winter to be a bit too much. However, I find the sharp jolt of cold is a nice compliment to the warmer pools and reminds me to keep moving!

A few other couples had the same idea as us (there were more than a few people smooching in the hot tub) but I found that overall the place wasn’t too full.

The experience ended with a wine and cheese in the attached restaurant - the perfect end to our date (well no, the perfect end would have been me whisking Jen off on a surprise trip to Paris but close enough!). Le sigh. Happy Valentines Day to all!

p.s in case you were wondering, we didn’t bring Margot. Jen’s aunt was kind enough to babysit.

First Cross-Country Toboggan Ride

Well the Newmarket folks have left. That means I can tell you what REALLY happened! First things first, forget the last two blogs. It was actually quite terri… haha just kidding. No it was fun. I think Margot enjoyed the extra love and attention. She really went wild with the baby talk the past few days and seemed to like showing off how well she can stand.

I haven’t gone outside much in the last couple of days so to make up for it Jen and I threw on our snowsuits and took Margot for her first cross-country toboggan ride on a nearby golf course. She looked like a cute little blue marshmallow wrapped in a yellow banana.

Technically, I think this is private property and my anglophone law and order instincts were to use one of the nearby public trails instead. However, Jen’s “c’est la vie” francophone persuasiveness won me over. Oh the French!

Expedition to the War Museum

OK, thus far we’ve managed to steer clear of utter carnage and have a fun-filled weekend. This morning I took my parents to the Canadian War Museum, as they’d never been there before. The curators of the museum have done a good job of bringing military history to life. The museum outlines Canadian warfare from pre-European exploration through to the modern day. We stayed there for just over an hour and a half, which is pretty much as much time Margot will tolerate for this sort of thing.

Although war is always solemn, it’s hard to go anywhere with a baby like Margot without cracking a few smiles (maybe more than a few).

Visitors!

My parents have made the long journey up from Newmarket to visit us this weekend.

They were supposed to come earlier in the week but our sickness delayed things by a few days.  No matter. This trip is extra special because, for the first time since I left the nest 13 years ago, they are staying with me instead of a hotel. I foresee only two possible outcomes: a fun-filled adventure or utter carnage. Let the games begin!

So Wrong

In a departure from my normal format, where I blog about my daily life with Margot, today I’ve simply posted a couple of baby-related videos I found on youtube. I know I shouldn’t laugh. I know they’re in bad taste. But…can’t…help…myself…

Number one:

Number two:

Halo grammama and granpupa!

Deer grammama and granpupa, I luv u! is alwys fun to visit u at ur mansion. Every weak on weddingnesday we get to play! I love u! I see noa to!

I kan eat emerything at ur mansion!

I have 4: two grammies and two granpuppies but u r Françoisfone. They r angelphones

xox Mgo!

Aylmer Library

With Margot on the mend we decided to make a quick visit to one of the local libraries to restock on books. I grabbed three for myself: (i) the Last Generation: How Nature will take her Revenge for Climate Change; (ii) The Defence of the Realm: the Authorized History of MI5; and (iii) Papa, je t'aime!

Margot told me that last one is non-fiction.

Jen also picked up some books but Margot seemed a bit uncertain about her selections.

As a general rule, I tend to take out books that I am interested in but wouldn't want to own. It can be a bit of a fine line. Also, I normally take out two books assuming I won't like one of them (kids books don't count).

Libraries are great. They really are. They have such positive benefits, the staff never seems to go on strike, and they make it remarkably easy to sample books, movies and music, which you may otherwise have overlooked.  When I lived in England with Jen (years ago), we survived by visiting the local libraries once a week to use the free Internet to communicate, book travel and search for jobs. Interestingly, we also saw a lot of homeless people in them while we were over there. Doing what? Reading of course!

The Limits of Control

I like the idea being in control of my life. To the extent possible, I prefer that the important decisions of my life (political, relationships, health, career, etc.) be made by me after careful consideration of all of the possibilities. I think this explains my general aversion to debt.  Not having any until relatively recently (with my mortgage) meant that for years I could realistically say with confidence, “If I don’t like my life here there is nothing to stop me from simply moving elsewhere”.

Of course, I recognize that here are limits to my control philosophy. Accidents happen; things you can’t predict. And of course, you generally can’t control what other people are going to do (to a certain extent – but that’s for another musing) and how you may have to respond. But, generally speaking, prior to becoming a parent I felt in control of my life more often than not.

Notice the “bus-sized” exception underlined above. Being a parent seems to have placed me in a position of absolute yet ridiculously fragile control over someone else. Together with Jen I tell Margot what to eat, where to sleep, what to wear. In brief, we pretty much dictate her entire day’s schedule. Yet when she got sick it all fell away so rapidly (note this is not the first time she’s been sick but it’s probably the worst). You know that it’s just a cold. Reason says it’s just a cold. But deep down you wonder – should I be doing anything else? Control turns to helplessness so quickly.

Margot is on the upswing again (fingers crossed). We made the right decisions I guess.

The Empire Strikes Back

I spoke too soon yesterday. I’m mostly good but the little haricot is still sick. It’s a laying low day. To pass the time we rented a few movies at the most ghetto looking video store in the world.

Poor little sprite. I'm near.

Virus Removal

I’m not going to lie to you; this post channels my inner computer geek.

Margot seems to have almost gotten over her cold completely. She still has a bit of a runny nose but she’s back to her regular bubbly self, as you can see here:

As for me, my woebegone 30-something immune system apparently needed a bit more time to swing into action. I was pretty sick most of the day and spent the day watching The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, a tried and true comfort movie, while also attempting to rid my laptop of the Google Redirect virus, which is a serious pain in the…butt, to put it mildly.

It’s 7:30 pm (EST) and the laptop and I both seem to be recovering nicely (finally!).  Shades of ET-like symbiosis there… (I told you this post channelled my inner geek).

Sick

Short post today. I’m sick. Margot is sick. It’s heartbreaking to see your little girl crying and being so tired that you can barely comfort her. She’s sleeping now. Fingers crossed that it’s only a short cold. I’m going back to bed. Thank god for Jen.

Dad School: Preparing Formula

Every stay-at-home dad needs to know how to give his child formula.  So, for all those prospective papas, this blog’s for you:

Step one: boil water. This kills germs.

Step two: pour boiled water in bottles. Let water stew in its own juices (I just felt like saying that expression - it seemed apt.  Yes, apt [I just wanted to say that too]). 

Step three: your baby will let you know when she’s hungry (trust me). When that happens, pour formula in water – quickly!

Step four: feed baby. Baby should hopefully be content.

Step five: when necessary, clean accumulated used bottles using a sterilizer (that’s the odd looking container in the photo below). It works through the magic of steam and the raw power of the microwave – the liquid water will turn into steam when heated and clean the bottles. Thank you Thomas Newcomen and Percy Spencer!

That’s it! I probably feed Margot this stuff at least 6-8 times a day so get used to this process – it'll become very familiar!

La Langue de Moliere

As I noted in an earlier post, I take weekly French lessons with a tutor. It’s not that big a commitment – only 2 hours once a week. However, I find the lessons very helpful in improving my ability to speak French (as opposed to reading French, which I can already do at a relatively advanced level).

There are several good reasons for me to learn French: (i) it’s helpful for my career; (ii) it’s useful for day-to-day tasks given that I live in Quebec; (iii) it allows me to read the back of cereal boxes; and (iv) it sets a good example for Margot, who we want to raise bilingual. However, I think the real reason why I’m taking these lessons is simply because I like the idea of doing something just for myself while I am on parental leave.

Don’t get me wrong – Margot is the number one priority for the next few months. But having two-hours of dedicated Simon time is nice.

Today my weekly French class was at the usual time (from 10 am to noon) at a local coffee shop. I ordered my standard drink, a large cider, because (and this is mildly ironic), I don’t drink coffee!

Bookworms

Margot has an active spirit. She loves the outdoors. However, when the time is right, Jen or I will sit down in a comfy chair with our petite princesse and reach for a book. We have a great selection to draw upon thanks to the generosity of our friends and family who have essentially helped establish a small library of French and English books at our house. In those pages Margot and I have discovered the seasons, met munching caterpillars, and followed the adventures of naughty mice.

Today I read “Une Année bien remplie”, a short tale of two talking trees, one of whom has a bit of a sassy tongue if I do say so myself.

 
Jen read “Stella: reine des neiges”, which is about a playful girl who gets up to all sorts of shenanigans.

Hmm, not every book has a moral that needs to be followed Margot!