The Purpose of Baby Stuff

Margot is growing in fits and spurts. I was tasked with the critical job of going through all her shoes today to see which ones still fit.  I ended up finding few pairs that are already too small even though they have never been worn. I guess they will be going in a “give away” box.

Hmmm come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Margot wear any of her shoes!  Given that most babies don’t walk until they are older, what is their function? Why do they exist? However, Margot is crawling all over the place so why don’t shoes exist for baby knees and hands?

Baby stuff can be funny like that.  Lots of stuff seems to have no apparent purpose.  Take toys. They just blink. And beep. And flash. Over and over and over again!

Wait a minute...maybe baby shoes are like tasty wheat in the Matrix (minus the tasting like chicken – not that I’d know)…

Whoa.  These are deep questions. 

Sour Mood

Today was a tofu cookie day.

I don’t like tofu.

Last night Margot woke up every hour and a half screaming for no apparent reason. Normally, she only wakes up once per night at around 4 am (before finally waking up for good at 8 am).

Although repeated wakeups is a relatively rare occurrence, when it does happen my preferred approach (if feeding and a change isn’t necessary) is to see if Margot will cry and soothe herself to sleep. Jen has the exact opposite instinct: she wants to pick Margot up and soothe her herself.  Last night nothing worked. 

Needless to say I woke up pretty tired today and in a generally sour mood.  As a consequence, I was less than nice to Jen throughout the day.  Thankfully it was a beautiful day, which inspired us to take a walk in Gatineau Park. Warm rays of sun can a pretty positive effect on me and the walk resolved most of the tension.

Margot is normally amazing but some days can be rough.

Workin’ Hard

I did some work today – built some shelves for the office. Nothin’ fancy – just IKEA. This is normally tough guy work [grunt] [snort]. However, to save time I decided to hire an assistant. She works cheap – only needs a bottle of the good stuff every couple of hours or so and then she’s wired. Most people don’t think a plastic shovel and pail would be helpful when putting together shelves but that’s just cause most people don’t know how to build shelves the manly way [hack] [spit] [grunt].

Here’s us thinkin’ bout stuff (man stuff like nuts and bolts and hammers).

Good job lil’ lady.

Changing Currents

I live in a small, quiet, and safe corner of the world. In my community, the police are trusted, elections are regularly held (sometimes more often than people would like) and students go to University reasonably confident that their degree will assist them in finding meaningful employment.  I know that should we decide to stay here Margot will have a future.  Not everyone is as fortunate.

I can’t help but be riveted by what is going on in North Africa and the Middle East these past few weeks.  What started with a frustrated University graduate setting himself on fire for lack of employment has already resulted in the toppling of one autocratic regime and has another on the brink. What is inspiring about this revolution, if I can call it that, is that it does not have any apparent religious or ethnic overtones; rather, it seems to be sustained by an unwillingness to accept the status quo and a real desire for something better: jobs; political choice; hope.  As Victor Hugo wrote in Les Misérables:

What did they want, those violent men, ragged, bellowing and wild-eyed, who with clubs and pikes poured through the ancient stress of distracted Paris?  They wanted to put an end to oppression, tyranny, and the sword; they wanted work for all men, education for their children, security for their wives, liberty, equality, fraternity, food enough to go around, freedom of though, the Edenization of the world.  In a word, they wanted Progress, the hallowed, good and gentle thing…

For my entire memory I have thought of the Middle East/North Africa as static, stable, authoritarian, corrupt.  It would truly be amazing if my concept of the region was relegated to the dustbin of history and Margot grew up knowing something completely different. Perhaps a bit of wishful thinking! Then again, the Eastern Europe I know is completely different than the one my parents grew up with.

Good luck to them.  As for me, I will continue to listen to the news, thank my lucky stars that I live where I do and hug Margot extra tight.

Food for Thought

Now that Margot is over 8-months old the solid portion of her diet is taking much greater significance. Although Margot is already eating strained fruits, cereal and certain strained veggies, we will be starting to introduce meats, tofu, and different types of veggies.  We will also be trying certain types of cheese shortly. I must stay I am quite surprised about the variety of foods babies eat. The transition from breast milk/formula to real people food was always somewhat of a mystery to me. 

I will readily admit that my wife, Jen, has taken the lead on researching what type of food we should give Margot. Without Jen, I probably would have just gone to the grocery store and bought any container that matched Margot’s age and sounded mildly yummy (strained apples? Yum! Strained anchovies? Pass!). 

Jen is very pro-organic when it comes to baby food so those types of foods will be taking centre-stage.  I’m not 100% sold that organic everything is necessary for Margot’s health but it means a lot to Jen so I’m not making it an issue – except when it comes to eggs (ask Jen).  For now we are going to loosely base Margot’s diet on the suggested meal plan at www.wholesomebabyfoods.com. 

21st Century Parenting

I am neither a Luddite nor someone who embraces every electronic fad that comes along. I generally only believe in buying something if I feel it will notably improve the quality of my life.  However, I have to admit that there have been some amazing developments in technology in recent years; for example, in telecommunications. 

Today, I hooked up a web camera and microphone to my laptop and used Skype for the first time.  Skype is a program that facilitates live conversations over the Internet for free.  It was incredibly easy to install and after only a few minutes I was speaking face-to-face with my parents who are 400-500 km away (depending on which road you take) in Newmarket.

What a fun experience!  My parents were able to make Margot smile and laugh, while Margot was able to show them that she’s now able to occasionally stand for two seconds without any support (this is breaking news as of about two days ago).

There are definitely some positives and negatives with this technology. On the plus side, Margot will grow up knowing the faces of all her grandparents – both the ones here in Ottawa/Gatineau and the ones in Newmarket. On the negative side, I guess I’ll have to start shaving more regularly so I don’t look like a total grub when I make these calls.

Definitely a brave new world!

Sidetracked

I’ve been house bound the last two days as the bitterly cold weather (-35 degrees with wind chill) has meant that it’s been too cold to take Margot anywhere – even outside for a walk.  The result: a very restless Simon. 

In order to get over my mild case of “cabin fever”, I was going to go see a film for parents and babies at a local cinema today. I’ve never done this before and it would probably make a great blog-post! Alas, it was not meant to be as on my way there I realized I forgot Margot’s diaper bag with all her necessities and ended up missing the film. BOO!

Oh well. In hindsight it’s not that big a deal as I visited two other interesting and equally blog-worthy places today: (i) my first daycare centre; and (ii) a “babytime” class at a local library.  With respect to topic (i), well the daycare was actually very impressive. The main problem is that it’s pricey and not very flexible (no part-time care), which isn’t optimal for us.  I will refrain from commenting any further on this topic as my research into daycares is just beginning.  Here’s a photo:

Quite the château.

As for topic (ii), well I obviously didn’t read the class description very well as I thought I was bringing Margot to some kind of story time thing but it turned out to be a not-as-good version of the Making Music Meaningful class I already attend. The class today was free but I’m still not sure it’s worth the price I'm paying.

p.s even with all this driving around Margot was an excellent and very smiley baby. Almost makes up for the four times she woke us up last night (every 2.5 hours). Almost!

An Education

The baby experience shares a lot of similarities with running a marathon: there are highs and lows but oftentimes it’s just a matter of staying the course.

Providing for a university education for Margot is one of the less exciting things that we’ve had to turn our minds too.  Canadians use a system called a “Registered Education Savings Plan” or “RESP” which is a form of tax shelter where the Federal Government tops up what you invest (up to a certain amount).  We made our second RESP contribution for Margot today and I consider it to be one of those things that we just have to plan for in case her career as a lifeguard supervisor falls through.

University tuition in Quebec is currently about half ($2415 Cdn/year) of what it costs in next-door Ontario ($6307 Cdn/year) but I don’t want to force Margot to attend a University in Quebec if she finds a better program elsewhere. Given that those amounts also don’t include the cost of books, residence, living, etc., some form of saving is generally necessary for middle-class folks like me. Of course, if Margot does happen to choose a school in Quebec, I will celebrate her wise, wise decision with a trip to the Bahamas (for, um, health reasons).

Hardly a sexy post, but that’s life sometimes!  To make up for it, here’s a photo of Margot preparing for University.

The Many Moods of Margot

How many moods can Margot have in the space of one hour? I count at least eight.

Shy:

 
Coy:

Statemanlike:

Agony:

Confused:

Thoughtful:

Mischievous:

Happy:

Saturday Brunch

Jen, Margot and I spent this morning having a lovely brunch with our friends, Mike and Gaby, who recently moved back into the Ottawa area with their children Braden and Shayla.

The adults outnumbered the kids four to three so we were able to keep the craziness mostly under control.  We munched on croissants, bagels and fruit while talking about such weighty topics as child safety and the merits of Uncharted 2 versus Killzone 2, which are video games for the Playstation 3.  The video game conversation was obviously very heated and we left it to be resolved on another day.

In this photo Mike and I are preparing Shayla and Margot for an old-fashioned arm wrestle match. In the end, Margot and Shayla decided that looking and smiling at each other was just as fun.  I guess they’re right.

In this photo Mike is demonstrating his superhero power to attract children to him (he is like Magento – only with babies).

You know, I find that the older I get the more challenging it is to maintain my friendships.  People’s career and life choices pull them in many different directions and friendships can easily fall by the wayside. However, the positive side of this seems to be that the friendships that remain are the ones worth having in the first place.

“I think I am starting to understand you”

This morning, Jen caught me completely off-guard with a simple but powerful statement. Almost offhandedly, she said,  “I think I am starting to understand you” in reference to the fact that she had been considering calling me yesterday but had been too busy at work and had decided against it.  I made similar decisions on several occasions when I was at work, as I had a fairly demanding position.

My parental leave has resulted in a role reversal in this house!  Jen is now the one working while I am the one taking the lion’s share of the parental responsibilities. I think this has really benefited our relationship by allowing us to have greater empathy for one another. I am definitely more understanding of just how demanding Margot can be. At the same time, Jen’s comment demonstrates to me that she understands that life sometimes demands that we make tough choices, like staying at work, which can be necessary for financial, professional or even personal reasons (for those of us who like our jobs).  It’s just too bad that parental leave for fathers isn’t more widely encouraged as I suspect others could have a similar experience.

 

Regardless, now’s the time for me to take advantage of the general conciliatory mood around here!  Jen, about that summer fishing trip I’ve always wanted to take to the Yukon with my brother…

Being Productive

This morning was brilliantly sunny but cold (-14 degrees Celsius, feels like – 22 with the wind chill). I think I even saw a squirrel shivering!  Fortunately, I didn’t have to brave the icy temperatures outside.

The little patate was in a generous mood and had a nap from 10 am to almost noon! That’s quite extraordinary in my world! Although she normally has a mid-morning snooze it’s rare for her to sleep longer than 45 minutes. 

I should have used the unexpected quiet time to read. Instead, I paid some bills on the Internet, solved a problem I was having with my digital camera, and tidied up around the house. 

Hmmm, I don’t think I have overcome my desire to always want to always be “productive” yet.  I constantly catch myself thinking of “missions” that I need to accomplish (such as this blog!). Although I think it’s a good thing to have weekly activities, and some chores have to be done, one of my goals of this parental leave is to learn to relax a bit more; to enjoy the moments!

I think I have a ways to go.

Surprises in the Mail

Margot received a package today from her grandparents in Newmarket (my mom and dad). The package included some nice clothes – including a great hoody - and a letter addressed to Margot.  Margot isn’t quite ready for reading yet (she’s on the letter “2”) so I’ll be storing the letter in a special place for her to read when she’s older.

I love receiving real mail, especially the non-bill variety. It’s so much more personal than an email! It means someone took the time to buy a stamp, write a message and send it along. Don’t get me wrong; email is great for day-to-day communication. But there’s something about ripping open an envelope that just can’t be beat. Maybe it just reminds me of Christmas. Jen is lucky in this respect. She maintains a couple of friendships almost entirely through letters. Whenever she gets one I must admit I’m a tad envious.

Today, however, I will have to live vicariously through my daughter.  She seemed pleased with her package today - it tastes like green beans!  I should also mention that she made an off-hand comment that she would love the next package even more if it included a pair of Ottawa Senators tickets (club seats, on the ice, only to a “gold” game against a top team such as Pittsburgh. What? :)  Don’t shoot the messenger!)

Waking up is Hard to Do

After a night out it would be nice to have a nice lazy sleep in. It would also be nice to have a villa in Tuscany. Neither is likely to happen anytime soon!

Margot, that cheeky little monkey, was ready at 8 am sharp this morning. That’s pretty much her standard wake up time.  She sleeps in her own room but we can hear her stir, whine and, if we’re slow, wail.  I keep a container of Nestle GoodStart2 formula next to the bed in order to prepare a bottle for her as soon as possible.

As you can see, the transformation from groggy gremlin into groggy mogwai this morning was quite drastic (elapsed time: 10 minutes).

Da Boyz

Sometimes us dads need a break. That’s when I call up my boys and arrange a pub night!

Tonight I went to the Manx Pub in downtown Ottawa with my friends Dave, James and Ryan. The Manx is a rare gem with board games, no music and, most importantly, no TVs. The name of the game is conversation (and battleship).  I really like this format I am surprised that more places don’t adopt it.  The food is also aces.

Note that I am the first dad of this particular crew.  Fingers crossed that the friendship survives the future challenges and changes ahead as they are good group of scallywags.

Also note that what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. My wife, Jen, also has an occasional girls night sans moi and sans bébé.  Not counting her biweekly play dates with Rachel, she meets four times a year for her bookclub and has a regular “T-4-2” with her friend Rebecca.

A Natural Celebration

It’s Margot’s 8-month birthday! To celebrate we took her to the Canadian Museum of Nature, which is located in downtown Ottawa.

The museum is designed for children and has lots of interactive exhibits. However, the young and curious at heart can also find lots of interesting things to do and read about. My favourite area is the water and ocean exhibit, which has fish tanks containing local species of fish swimming about.

 Jen’s favourite area is the bird exhibit because she “likes the presentation”.

Margot’s favourite area is the mammal exhibit as it allows her to test her mettle facing down dangerous beasts.

Interesting fact: after Canada’s Parliament building burned down in 1916 the museum building housed Canada’s legislature for four years. Only in Canada!

Chores

It’s snowing. Snowing, snowing, snowing. And that means it’s the perfect time to stay in and do a bit of housecleaning.  Keeping an eye on Margot while trying to be productive is a bit of a challenge.  I do what I can.  So far, the easiest housecleaning tasks to do with her seem to be sweeping, vacuuming (which is also a good way of keeping Margot quiet) and taking out the garbage. The hardest is cooking, as I’m always hesitant to bring Margot too close to the stove.  Luckily the Madame of the house appears to have that job locked down these days.

As you can tell from these photos my assistant seems less than enthusiastic about helping me out. On the other hand, I appear to have a maniacal grin...

Making Music Meaningful

Imagine if you will, a gaggle of 8-10 enthusiastic parents gathered in a circle. All are women with the exception of one slightly bemused young man. Each parent proudly holds a bouncing baby. Some are jumping around. Some are babbling.  And then there are the babies!  A teacher who is literally bursting with positive energy leads the group. She seems to only have the ability to speak in verse, rhyme and song. And sing she does! Louder and louder which inspires the parents to lift, tickle and dance their charges to the heavens.  What is this madness?!

Hahaha let me just say, "what a morning"!  I attended my first music and baby class, which was held in the basement of a United Church in Ottawa. I really feel like I caught a glimpse of a world that few fathers ever see.  I think I did a pretty good job at adapting though. The trick is to embrace the silliness and joy of the occasion.  Once you do, you will literally be unable to stop smiling.  If you don’t believe me, try saying the following with a straight face (the words in brackets are actions only):

There was a little bunny
Sitting in the sun (hop with one hand on child’s knee)
When the dog said “WOOF, WOOF” (two little jumps on child’s knee)
He made the bunny run! (tickle)

Needless to say, Margot had a lot of fun.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of a good way to say “can I take a photo for my blog” without coming across as a total psycho, so you’ll have to settle for a photo of the venue instead.

However, for those of you who are suffering from Margot withdrawal here are two music-related photos, which I have convinced myself are sufficiently relevant to today’s topic.

Money money money

I received my first Federal Canadian Government parental leave top-up today. I haven’t checked the amount yet but combined with the money I received from the Quebec government I should be getting 93% of my pre-parental leave salary. That’s pretty good. Amazingly good actually, and is one of the big reasons that I wanted to work for the Government. It was also a factor in my decision to take parental leave (as Jen generally only received 70% or so of her pre-maternity leave salary while she was on leave).

If I were to view it from the perspective of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs I would say that having that kind of stable income means the bottom layers of his famous pyramid (psychological and safety) are pretty well satisfied in my case.  Anecdotally, it is my experience that not having money can be the source for a lot of tension. 

Not everyone gets the kind of support I get from their employer. I am pretty sure my parents had to survive on only one income – with three kids! That blows me away. 

Tubby Tub Tub Princess of Tub time

I felt pretty crabby yesterday - hence the melancholy topic. However, one of the nice things of blogging is hearing other people’s thoughts and encouragement on whatever issue pops into my head. So in retrospect, and after going through the emails, blog mentions, and comments I received, maybe it was a good day after all.

To continue my pattern of goofy post/philosophical post/goofy post, today’s post changes gears a bit.  Today, I had my first French lesson with my tutor (more on that in the future - don’t want to go through all my blog topics too soon) and, more importantly for all those who like hearing about Margot, it was the first time that Margot has ever taken a bath without crying. Here’s some post-bath photos.

I must say she looks rather cross in the first shot so maybe we got her out just in time.  Regardless, this is a big step and should hopefully decrease Margot’s grubbiness factor by several degrees. Just kidding! Margot’s not that grubby…just smelly. :)

AS I WAS SAYING, Margot had lots of fun in the tub that little tub time tubby princess of tub land.  Not sure what has changed since the last time we bathed her but now the vast cornucopia of water-related employment is open to her: lifeguard; scuba diver; lifeguard supervisor…the possibilities are endless. 

Trade-offs

Before going on parental leave I was given the chance to pursue a good job.  I passed on it because I didn’t want to give up my four months with Margot, which might be a once in a lifetime opportunity. However, recently I have had some doubts.  

Now, I know I should be extremely grateful for my time with Margot – and I am! Few fathers are given the chance to take leave with their children. However, my career is important to me and I can’t help but worry sometimes that my decision has negatively impacted my career in some way.

I guess the career vs. family trade-off is something that every parent thinks about when they decide how much parental leave they should take. I didn’t think it would be something I would have to face given that I am only taking four months off. But here I am. Thinking.

Wild Animals

Margot is a tough little cookie and likes it when stuffed animals attack her. Luckily for her we have a few wild packs roaming the halls around here.

Religion and Spirituality

The mere title of this post is sure to make some people squirm with discomfort! For people of my generation, religion is often somewhere between a joke and something to be feared.  Rationale debates about religion and spirituality (and when I say debates, I mean conversations where both sides listen to opposing points of view rather than just speaking loudly in order to reaffirm their own beliefs) are, in my experience, rare. Perhaps this is a consequence of the general Canadian trait to avoid confrontation and controversy.  Or perhaps it is just part and parcel of a modern Western secular society. Whatever the reason, religion and spirituality seem to get the most airplay when a fundamentalist engages in a terrorist attack.

With respect to my own religious background, I was born and raised Catholic although in recent yeas I have attended, on and off, whatever random liberal Christian church happened to be near where I was living.  I’m pretty easy going that way – at the end of the day I find 95% of the messages are the same anyways.

That’s probably why we ended getting Margot baptized at All Saints Westboro, an Anglican church which neither one of us is “officially” a member of!  It’s a family-focused place where they have lots of toys and books at the back and where the Minister is a jolly old fellow who gathers all the kids together at the start of each mass and does a little puppet show.  They then rush off to church school. It’s really cute.  What I like most about going is that it’s a place where I can take Margot that is not about materialistic or personal gain.  I’m not fooling myself, if I keep going, I fully expect Margot to push back when she’s old enough. Good!  Life needs spice.

Of course, I don’t think you need to be part of an organized religion to be spiritual. Jen, my wife, falls into that category (although she’ll tell you she’s a Unitarian/pagan with a dash of yoga spirituality mixed in).  She sometimes attends church with me although today she decided to attend to her yoga side instead – conveniently located across the street from All Saints!

All this to say that I think it’s important to be open-minded about all belief systems: atheist, agnostic; Christian; Buddhist; Islamic; spiritual; whatever.  In the end, I think it’s all about the same thing: the search for truth. What’s so difficult about saying that?

Spaghetti Send-off

No more complaining about warm weather. Winter has hit Ottawa/Gatineau with a fury and dumped about 10 cm of snow on us in 2 days. Actually, it’s the perfect kind of snow – light and fluffy and perfect for kicking about in. We even got a chance to use our snowshoes again (for the record Margot lasted almost all 50 minutes of our epic expedition).

As the snow arrives, so Jen’s family partakes in that great Canadian tradition: flying south for a winter break. Jen’s brother Jason, his partner Eve, and their son, Noa, are flying to the Mayan Riviera while her Dad and Mom are going to Florida.

Sun.  Sigh.

Oh well. We wished the gang off with a Spaghetti dinner made just for the occasion at Chez Eli’s.  It was quite a treat – the bread wasn’t burnt!

 (Just kidding Eli!!!!)