Last Day

Well, this is it! The last blog post! What to write about? I’ve experienced so much in the last 122 days its hard to know where to begin.

I am anxious and excited to return to work (feelings that are heightened because I have a new job), yet nostalgic and subdued that my time with Margot is coming to an end. I am happy that I did so much with her over the last four months. However, I am also annoyed that much of the month of February and parts of March were a wash because I had a long cold (I only blogged about the worst part of it). I wish I could have some of that time back with her so I could enjoy it more. In sum, my emotions right now are a bit mixed up!

One thing I don’t regret is writing Tough Cookies. Although it was hard to come up with 122 original baby-related thoughts day after day, I enjoyed it for the most part. Moreover, having a blog encouraged me to go out and try new things so that, at the very least, I would have something to write about at the end of the day! I would definitely recommend blogging as an emotional release valve for any future parent.

As much fun as it was, I’m going to take a long hiatus from writing. I’m not sure whether another chapter of Tough Cookies is in me at this point but I’m not foreclosing the opportunity of starting something again a few years from now when the dust has settled and perhaps a new opportunity has come up. We shall see…!

Before I go though, I’d like to thank Jen’s blogger friends for inspiring me with their blog website sites. I’d also like to say thank you to anyone who was the subject of a blog post (my friends and family) - I literally carried a camera around with me all the time and was constantly saying “this could make a good blog post” to them! So thank you for putting up with me. Most of all I’d like to thank Jen for being my sounding board, editor and occasional muse. I couldn’t have done this without her.

You know, I named this blog “Tough Cookies” because I thought it would be challenging (tough) and fun (cookies) at the same time. It was – but not in the ways I expected. Looking back, I didn’t find changing diapers, cleaning bottles or keeping Margot distracted to be that hard in the end - those things just became part of my daily routine. What I found to be the most challenging was the sheer amount of time I was given to reflect upon the direction my life now that Margot is such a big part of it. I think I came up with some good ideas but it’s going to be constant work to make sure I am the father that I would like to be. At the same time, Margot wasn’t just fun because of her amazing smile, laugh or goofy haircut (whoops, my fault). I think she was most fun because of her inherent ability to find ways to surprise me. I am really happy to know her and I can’t wait to see what she has in store for me next. “Sweets – don’t eat that!!”

The End

First Easter

Happy first Easter Margot! I was going to take you to an Easter service this morning but you were sound asleep so I left you in your crib. It must have been a rough night on the town last night huh sweets?

Not too worry because after your sleep we went to Jen’s parent’s house for an Easter celebration and brunch. Mmm we had croissants and pancakes and sausages and fruit salad and all the fixings! By “we” I mean everyone but you. You, mon ange, had formula - although you did steal a few bites of real fruit too. But you had a big smile on so your face and squealed with happiness a few times so all was well.

You may notice that my blog about you started on Christmas and is ending on Easter (almost). I did that on purpose when I signed up for my parental leave. A year is full of special days and I thought it would be nice to start and end my time with you on two high notes. Now go back to running around and squealing happily.

Happy Easter to all!

Guest Post: Wife’s Perspective – Concluding Thoughts

Hello again! Well, this is my last post on Tough Cookies. Many (well, at least one person) have asked if I will take over Tough Cookies and write about my adventures with Miss Munchkin. Well… best to ask Simon!

Did these 4 months fly by? Not really. It felt like 4 months. Winter came and lasted for a while. But the days became longer and spring appeared (along with the crocus we planted last fall). Due to my variable/unorthodox schedule, we spent a lot of time as our little gang: going grocery shopping together; visiting the library; enjoying the sunshine in Gatineau Park. I think these daily tasks/ moments are what I will be missing the most: Our little trio just hanging out.

I think Simon took full advantage of being a SAHD! He was great and the bond he has created with Margot has been invaluable in their relationship.

In three weeks, I’ll be done work. Things will be different. But change is good, right? My yogic path has instilled in me a philosophy of embracing change and adapting to new situations. For these three weeks when both Simon and I will be at work, Margot will be cared for by her grand-maman and grand-papa and by her cousin Noa who will keep a watchful eye on her to make sure she doesn’t pull his hair or play with his trucks! After that, as summer rolls along, it will be her and me. Mama et bébé. I don’t have any plans…yet. I like schedules (hey, I’m a teacher!). I signed up for two library programs with the City of Gatineau and will probably continue the music class in July & August. Margot is at a difficult age for activities as they seem to be directed to pre-crawling /pre-walking (yoga class, massage classes, salsa baby, post-natal aquafit) or 24 months + (fun stuff!).

On the social side, Margot hopes to visit Owen and Matilda this summer, spend a bit of time with Xander and Isla, and go strolling with Althea. She’s in good company!

Thank you for your readership. Hence, I sign off with words of wisdom: savour the moment and go with the flow!

    With Love,
        Jen xox

Earth Day Exploration

As of today I am officially no longer on parental leave. Technically I’m just enjoying the long Easter weekend like every other worker. There’s no point in mopping about my imminent return to work though. It’s a nice sunny day and Jen and I have decided to celebrate this Earth Day by going for a little hike in a part of the Greenbelt which we’ve never explored before.

Today’s hike took us to Green Creek, which is in the east end of Ottawa. Is it my imagination or are “east ends” always the bad part of a town? Whether it’s Ottawa’s Vanier, Toronto’s Scarborough, Vancouver’s downtown eastside, or London’s east end, the east always seems to be rougher. Interestingly Vanier, likely the poorest part of Ottawa, is adjacent to Rockcliffe, the richest! I’m not sure if that’s poetic justice or irony or what but there you go. Anyways, I digress.

Green Creek was lovely once we got off the main path and delved into the woods. We found a lookout above the creek.

Later on, after some exploration, we found ourselves next to the creek all alone with just the trees for company.

Margot was very observant and listened to the sound of the water splashing over the rocks.

 
I hope all these little hikes instil in my daughter an appreciation and respect for nature. I would like her to realize that protecting the local environment can be just as important (in a different way) to our health and being as protecting the rainforest or the Rockies.  In the end I guess I hope to give her a balanced perspective on life. Happy Earth Day!

As If I Need Another Hobby

Today I thought of a new activity that would be pretty easy to share with Margot: birding! I’ve decided I’m going to try and identify all the different types of birds that pay a visit to my house.

I’ve already captured four species on my camera. I’ve identified two (a robin and a cardinal):

But I'm at a loss with respect to two others:

However, I’ve enlisted the help of a local birding society, as well as my father who owns a bird identification book, to help me identify these two species.

I know, I know, I sound like a bazillion years old! Well listen here sonny jim we’ll see what types of activities you do with your baby! Hurumph!

Playtime

I read somewhere online that dads sometimes initially find it hard to bond with babies. Partially this is a result of certain mommy-focused activities (like breast-feeding) that dominate the early days but I’ve also heard that there is only so much dads feel they can do with their babies at first. Apparently as a baby gets older, and they can play more, dads develop more attachment.

Margot is a central part of my life, but I will admit that I found there were limits to what I could do with her, especially during the winter months when I was forced to stay indoors. It’s not winter anymore but the weather is definitely junk today (ice rain) meaning I’m stuck inside. Here are some play ideas I’ve come up with for days like today:

1. Hand Margot something. She takes great joy in this.
2. Play peek-a-boo. It really is funny how this never gets old! “Where’d you go! I see your hands but not your face?! …Ahhh there you are.”
3. Run up to her and tickle her.
4. Say her name to her. I think she likes this because she recognizes the word and that makes her feel like a big girl.
5. Make funny noises or faces to her. This can be combined with other activities on this list.
6. Read a short book to her. Margot really reacts to certain stories now as compared to before. Little Numbers by Scholastic is her new favourite. It’s an epic tale of counting from one to five or (on a especially zany day) five to one.
7. Let her run around. No batteries necessary!

There may be more but if anyone else has a good idea I’d love to hear about them!

Learning to say “No”

As Margot becomes more mobile her capacity to get into trouble increases exponentially. This has meant that I have to keep an extra sharp eye on her. Not just to avoid getting hurt, but to avoid her destroying everything in the house below 2-feet in height!

Today, like many mornings, she tried to take the carbon monoxide detector off the wall and eat it. “No Haricot, that’s not for you!”

She also tried to pull Jen’s face off by scrunching it up into a little ball. Although we all had a little giggle about this at a certain point getting your face pulled off kindof hurts. “No Coco, not that hard!”

Fortunately Margot’s ability to comprehend the word “no” seems to have developed along with her little legs…somewhat. When I say “no” she often just turns and gives me a big smile. Given Margot’s insanely cute smile this generally ends the discussion. However, I know that as she gets older I’m going to have to get tougher. Hopefully by that point I’ll have developed a thicker skin!

Taking After Her Parents

How much of what a baby does is learned and how much is genetic? That question has probably been asked by a lot of parents as they observe their child’s behaviour and fret about their future.

Sometimes when I watch Margot I see her do something that reminds me of Jen. Other times I observe behaviour that I might recognize in myself.

A few examples.

Well, Margot, as you might recall from an earlier post, can be quite the fussy eater. Often she will just stop eating something which only moments before she was happily munching. Not because she’s full mind you; as far as I can tell it’s just because she’s bored of particular thing. My parents are probably reading this with a smile on their face because I was a notoriously difficult eater when I was young. To this day I find that I get bored with many foods and prefer small portions of things I like rather than a big portion of something I really love.

Margot also likes to sleep with her feet (and sometimes the rest of her body) sticking out from under her blanket. No matter how cold or how hot those little feet will dig themselves out. And guess what? This behaviour comes straight out of Jen’s book.

Finally, Margot always pushes her feet against the table when she’s eating. This is a Simon-side trait as I have a similar habit of always resting my feet against a table or chair leg. No idea why.

Funny huh? I wonder if this sort of behaviour has been passed down from generation to generation for hundreds or even thousands of years?

Goodbye Toronto

Goodbye spare bedroom. You kept Margot safe and sound inside the playpen in the corner.

Goodbye birthday flowers. You brought colour to the living room on this rainy spring weekend.

Goodbye computer nook. Your cozy futon kept Jen and I warm while the wind wailed outside and tried to get in.

Goodbye groggy sister. You humoured me while I took this photo and were an amazing and generous host along with your husband.

Goodbye zen baby. You were happy and feisty 99% of the time this weekend so I highly doubt I will see you this chill again for a long time.

Goodbye Toronto! I can’t wait to visit again.

Happy Birthday!

There is lots to celebrate on this wet and very rainy April 16th. First, it's Margot's 11-month birthday! WOW - she's really getting close to the one year mark. Congratulations big girl!

Second, it's Jen's birthday today. I'm taking her to Globe Bistro this evening, which is a trendy restaurant in the Danforth area. We're also going to see a exhibit on Tim Burton's art at the Toronto International Film Festival site. Unfortunately, I made one mistake that unfortunate husbands make and rue everywhere: I forgot her gift at home. Doh.

So until we get back to Gatineau I'll have to buy some time with compliments and kisses.

Did I tell you that Jen looks younger this year? Also, her yoga practice has never been better. And that recent play she directed - Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorsese look out!

Haha happy Birthday babes! Happy Birthday 'lil babe!

City Kids vs. Suburban Kids

Today I've been puttering around my sister's neighbourhood, the Danforth, with Margot. The Danforth is known as "Greek Town" although it's increasingly catering to the upper middle class.

It's interesting to think about whether there would be any differences if I raised Margot here, or anywhere else in the city of Toronto. Although I don't live in a true suburb of Ottawa/Gatineau (as I'm closer to Ottawa's downtown than many "urban" areas), my neighbourhood has sufficient suburb-like qualities that it's possible to compare and contrast where I live to my sister's area. Here are some observations:

• Stroller size matters: you can get away with big strollers much easier where I live. In the city space is at a premium as sidewalks tend to be smaller, buildings narrower, etc.
• Parks are key: unless you're super rich, backyard and front yards in the suburbs tend to be much larger. That means that parks are more important places for children to play in the city. Interestingly, however, my house actually has a smaller backyard than my sister's so I think I'm the exception that proves the rule.
• Culture Smultchure: there's theoretically way more cultural opportunities for children in the city, especially one as big as Toronto. However, at the end of the day, I don't think this is such a big deal for babies as young as Margot as it is for the parents themselves when they need a break!
• What's that thing with four wheels? If I lived in Toronto there is a much higher possibility I wouldn't even own a car. I would probably take Margot a lot of places by the subway or another form of mass transit. Margot, on the other hand, is quite familiar with her car seat.

All-in-all, those differences aren't too major. I think the little monkey could survive in the big city.

Follow the Grey Brick Road

Jen and I packed up our bags this morning, bundled Margot into the car, and headed down to Toronto for one last visit before I go back to work.  Unlike our last drive to this area we took the busy Highway 401 rather the more northerly route of Highway 7. Let me set the scene.

Imagine, if you will, three lanes of paved asphalt stretching to the horizon. There are no mountains. There are no raging rivers. There are no luscious gardens. There aren't even any interesting looking clouds in the sky. In sum, Highway 401 between Ottawa and Toronto is a contender for one of the most boring drives in the world.

OK, I'm exaggerating a bit. We did catch glimpses of Lake Ontario once in awhile. Oh and the CN Tower too! And..um..the clouds weren't that boring...

But we didn't come all this way for the drive. Jen's come for a Yoga Conference and she's super excited. I've come to spend some quality time with my family and friends doing, well, nothing in particular. Just walking around and talking really! If you ask me, those are some of the best times.

Closing the Circle

It’s hard to believe but I now have slightly less than two weeks left in my parental leave. Although I’m looking forward to working again, I’ll admit that the idea of being thrown back into a desk job after having spent so much time focusing solely on the little monkey can be a bit intimidating. On the professional side, I hope that my skills aren’t too rusty. My job requires a lot of reading so I’ve been keeping as up-to-date as possible by skimming relevant articles online. On the personal side, it’s not like Margot’s little life will automatically adjust just because I’m at work. It’s not like mine will either! Reality may hit like a splash of cold water to the face.

And to think – I’ve only been off for four months! I wonder what it would feel like to have been absent from work for a year (the typical absence for a stay-at-home mother in Canada). How about five years? Those numbers aren’t unheard of.

So things don't come as too much of a shock I’ve started to do some prep work to smooth the transition back into an office environment. Today, for example, I went to my old office for a visit. To be honest, I partly wanted to show off Margot (c’mon, every dad is like that!), but it was also nice to hear the latest doings and goings on. It turned out to be a really fun visit so overall I think the trip was a big success.

Teething

Margot’s teeth have really been coming in lately. Besides the two lower teeth, which have been around for ages, she now has five upper teeth popping up. Apparently this can be a painful experience for some babies. However, Margot doesn’t appear to mind as the only time she ever cries is when she’s hungry or really tired. I guess the main signs that she’s teething (other than the obvious) are that she drools quite a bit onto her chin and she’s constantly trying to munch on things.

To prove I'm not exaggerating Margot's dental proficiency, enjoy this photo. Note that Margot had to endure quite a bit of tickling before I snapped this!

Hmmm I’m not sure if that shot shows off her best side...

 Ahhh that's better!

Big Girls Ride the Bus

Here I am! Wearing my big girl rain jacket over my big girl sweater! Yellow is a grownup colour in case you didn’t know.

Today I took the big girl bus downtown with my daddy. We took the number 59 bus. We had a whole seat to ourselves. One half was for him and the other half was for me. I think I should have had my own seat but I sat next to daddy to make sure he was safe.

My daddy brought a backpack full of my stuff like food and toys. I let him carry it while I looked outside the window.

I like the bus. It’s full of strange sights and sounds. I saw lots of big people on the bus. I only saw one baby on the bus but I didn’t talk to him cause I’m a big girl and he wouldn’t understand me.

Oh No Bobo!

I don’t have good news to tell this morning. Margot fell forward yesterday evening and grazed her cheek against a table. Don’t worry she’s ok! But she has a little bobo on her left cheek.

Previous to this accident Margot had always fallen backwards on her bum. However, in light of Margot’s new ability I’m going to have to be more watchful for now on. Fortunately we only have one table of “Margot-height” in the house that could pose a more serious threat to her. The rest of the tables in the house are either too tall or have rounded edges.

Margot was a real trooper about the whole thing though. She cried for 10 seconds and then remembered how much she likes to munch on PS3 remote controls and all was well. I, on the other hand, feel pretty guilty about the whole situation. I think I’m too trusting of Margot and prone to letting her wander around as she likes exploring so much.

Grrrrr. Stupid table.

OK, new rule: Margot, you are not allowed near the mean IKEA table in the basement. Hmmm this may be a challenge to implement as Margot is really starting to motor along on her little legs these days.... OK, new rule: mean table, you are not allowed near Margot when she is in the basement.

First Bloom

The temperature is rising and the snow is quickly melting. The wind blowing through the neighbourhood doesn’t have quite the same chill as it did only a week ago. The muck of March is being swept aside by the wet of April.

Although it’s technically been spring since March 21st, you would hardly know it until this past week. However, a couple of days ago we finally caught sight of one of the harbingers of the season: the first crocus pushing through the grass. Jen and I planted a sprinkling of these flowers on our front lawn last autumn so it’s nice to see that they survived the winter safe and sound.

Ottawa/Gatineau is a bit of a bizarre area in that the spring is very short. One day it will be winter and then, before you know it, you’ll be complaining about the heat of summer! It’s not like in Great Britain, which seems to have a much longer spring season (or, at least it seemed that way to Jen and I when we lived in Bristol way back in 2003-2004). This can make for some amusing scenes around here. People eating and drinking on patios with the last dredges of snow piled in the corners behind them is not unknown!

Note: I can’t take credit for this blog topic. I was inspired from reading another blog a long time ago (here and here) as well as more recently (here).

Swings!

There is a cute little park just down the street from my house. And in that cute little park there is a cute little swing. And in that swing…there’s…dum de de dum…Margot the adventurous!

Backstage work

This is a busy week for my wife, Jen. For the last several months she’s been co-directing a student production of The Lieutenant of Inishmore at the CEGEP (college) where she teaches. This week is show time so she’ll be at school after hours to make sure it goes on without a hitch.

I’m pretty happy for Jen. But I’m also happy that all this extra-curricular activity is almost over! The main impact on me is that I don’t have any assistance taking care of Margot in the evenings. After a long day that can be tough.

However, what goes around comes around and I’m positive that I’ll rely on Jen for support in the future. So, ‘nough complaining and it’s time to plug her play!

If you’ve never seen The Lieutenant of Inishmore you’re in for a treat. Set on the rocky island of Inishmore, off the coast of Ireland, the play centres around the character of Padriac, a feared terrorist assassin. Despite lacking any feeling for his human victims, Padraic has an obsessive attachment to Thomas, his beloved cat. When poor wee Thomas winds up dead, the cat’s caretakers madly attempt to conceal the fact before “Mad Padriac” returns from a stint of torture and bombing. The results are both hilarious and horrifying.

Hmmm sounds bloody funny, pun intended. I’m off to see the show tonight (Margot has a babysitter) so if you would like to join me, head to 325, boul. Cité des Jeunes, Gatineau, QC. I don’t want to hear any whining about “I don’t live in Canada” either. Ottawa has a perfectly serviceable international airport with connections in London, New York and Vancouver. Toraloo! :)

Growling Emus

I had quite an interesting morning today. Jen’s mom invited me to visit the Erablière Riveraine (sugar shack) on the Quebec side of the border along with Jen’s Dad and little Noa. Unlike the last sugar shack I visited, in Ontario, this sugar shack was a bit more…rustic, let’s say.

One of the most bizarre things about the place was that I didn't see any maple trees around! I’m not sure how they make their maple syrup. Hopefully not from grocery store trees.

It did have a small petting zoo full of barnyard animals including: goats; sheep; rabbits; ponies and…an Emu? I never knew this but Emus growl if you get too close. Seeing a five foot tall bird growl is actually quite scary! So we kept our distance.

Besides the petting zoo there was a really funny “museum” on site. Here's the foyer. It’s a good thing we wore our fancy dress clothes. 

Inside the museum were exhibits on…on…you know I have no clue what this was supposed to be a museum of. Maybe farm equipment but I’ll let you guess:

The best part of the sugar shack was the all-you-can-eat breakfast for $6.50 Cdn. Although they only had three types of food (eggs, back bacon, and pancakes), I made sure to get my fill and keep the local chickens, pigs and pancake beasts working.

Fun morning even if it was a bit peculiar!

Wonder

I often bring Margot to windows these days so she can look at our backyard, the birds, the brown-green grass or even just the grubby leftover snow. Sometimes she cranes her neck this way and that as she tries to see what’s going on. Other times, like today, she just looks outside patiently and takes it all in.

I can hardly blame the little haricot; spring is a very new concept for her. Although she was technically born in this season, the temperature at the time last year was already around 30 degrees Celsius so she’s never had an opportunity to really enjoy the season. Plus, I imagine she had other things on her mind like “where the ‘ell am I?!”

I can’t wait to see and show Margot even more once the weather gets warmer. For me, being a guide is definitely one of the highlights of being a parent. It reminds me of how amazing the world is. Although I’ve always tried to retain some sense of wonder (for example, I’m drawn to look at ponds and rivers and imagine what lives just beneath the surface), often I forget and just let the days blaze by. Margot won’t let me do that too easily. I think she’ll smile when she sees me mow the grass and look suspiciously at the frogs in our little pond when she hears them croak for the first time.

But it’s early days. For now, I’ll just keep bringing her to the window and watch her as she watches the world.

Pushing Back

Margot is becoming somewhat of a little trickster. She’s sugar and spice most of the time but if she doesn’t like something…well she’ll let you hear about it.

Case in point: dinner this evening. Let’s see how that went:

I guess forming likes and dislikes just comes with the territory of “growing up”. Yeep. And she's not even a teenager yet!

Young Dad Squash Club

Phew. I’m tired. As previously promised, I’m trying to be more physically active. This morning I got together with a couple of friends, Mike and Clint, and played a few rounds of squash at Canadian Fitness and Squash, a gym in their area.

We’re all young fathers (early 30’s) so I’m pretty impressed we were able to find a mutually convenient time. This bodes well for the future.

I played four matches, won three and lost one. Those other dudes did one better and played five, which, if you’ve ever played squash, is really tough! We’re each pretty evenly matched too so I got a great workout running around the court. I think my lower back is going to make me pay for all this fun tomorrow though!

After a little cajoling I was able to convince them to let me take a photo of them outside the gym. And no, they aren’t going to be the next poster boys of Gap…although maybe in Europe… (euroSquashDaddies)!  :)

Scouting Mission

There are lots of quiet corners of Ottawa that I’ve never been to before. This morning Margot and I visited one of them: Shirley’s Bay, which is on the Ottawa River.

Shirley’s Bay is a conservation area that is part of a “greenbelt” of parkland that surrounds Ottawa and separates the city from several “bedroom” communities (smaller towns). Living next door to Gatineau Park, I don’t normally feel a need to hike in this area, which is about 25 minutes away from my house. However, with summer fast approaching I’ve been getting the urge to do some fishing and Shirley’s Bay is one of many spots relatively near me where you can supposedly catch some big ones. Today’s visit was a chance for me to scout out the territory.

When we arrived at the park, I found to my delight that we were almost the only ones there. Margot and I therefore had the chance to explore all the nooks and crannies along the shoreline at our leisure.

Although Margot was mostly just interested in hearing what Sophie the Giraffe had to say, I think she appreciated the fresh air.

After about 40 minutes there we headed home for a well-earned rest.

When I was young I used to go fishing with my dad so I was his “riverbank boy”. I like the idea of Margot growing up as my “riverbank girl”.

Margot the Star

I have some crazy news! A couple of weeks ago, after a Making Music Meaningful class, Margot and I were approached by a professional photographer who asked to take some snaps of the little potate.

I agreed and he indicated that he would get back to me about a possible opportunity for Margot for a major retailer in Canada. Well, this morning we got a phone call and guess what? Subject to Jen and my approval, starting this summer Margot will be the new face of Baby Gap!

I always knew that the little haricot was special and now the whole world can see it too!

The only downside is that we have to fly to Toronto a couple of times of year but that’s okay as it’s all expenses paid. They also mentioned possible photo shoots in some foreign locales: specifically New York, London and Paris for their new line of urban clothing, eurobaby, but that’s not confirmed yet. There are lots of other goodies too but I won’t know the details until I read over the contract.

Anyways, get used to seeing this face at a billboard near you!